girlpunch

Because pussy kills...

Amen

For those of you thinking Muppet Moore opened your eyes to the war in Iraq wait till you see the real deal.

reason number 10 i'm going right to hell

After completely wiping the floor with an opponent on yahoo chess I discovered she was in fact only nine years old.  I should feel totally guilty, but  I really don't.  And i'm not afraid to admit that I played her two more times after that.

Last night, while on the phone with my 6 year old niece she used the word "appropriate" in the correct context.  Of course in her-so-cute-I could-puke- little 6 yr old voice it was more like "appropiate"

But, Appropriate?

Um, what's next med school?

Merry Christmas to me

Shame, Shame

Allah knows your name

the latest google hit on my site

Why I should not be left unsupervised on Thanksgiving day with the number to the Butterball Turkey hotline

The butterball turkey hotline operator is not my suga momma.

I cannot microwave a turkey even if I do have that sucker cranked to warp speed.

Butterball turkey is neither a member of the communist party or part of a government conspiracy to create bio-weapons behind our turkey eating asses.

A turkey cannot really be exorcised of evil demons.

A turkey cannot be trained to fight in the global war on terrorism.

Butterball turkey cannot endorse a new turkey porno movie.

It would be a bad idea to get a turkey drunk.

One week

In one week i'll be laying on a beach in Hawaii. I'm going to swim in the ocean, play with my niece and nephew, snorkel,  and see the sites.  Im going to lay in the sun and sleep, without fear of mortar rounds or gunfire. Im going to work on my book.  Im not going to think about bad guys or my business.  Im going to meet at least one hot girl.  I'm going to stay up with my little brother and older sister and we are going to laugh until our heads feel they are going to split wide open. Its going to make life feel so much better.

Bush won.

Bin Laden you can kiss our infidel asses. We're coming to get you, bitch.